The 3 for 2 Threshers Trap...

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me...than a frontal labotomy"...good old Dame Dorothy Parker. Well, if she isn't a certified Dame, she certainly is one in my books. And since when is being called a Dame a matter of distinction, I thought it used to mean tough?

Well, Ms. Parker came to mind this weekend after I had what has become a frequent exchange about my drinking habits...'But, I mean, you don't drink THAT much do you Liz?'

Well, it depends on who you are comparing me to...if it's Charlotte Church pre - 'I now role play as a coiffed 1950's Stepford Wife in the new Walkers ads (which by the way, needs more than a cleaned up Charlotte to make Lime an attractive flavour for anything other than ice lollies)... than NO!

No matter how much I drink I never seem to manage that 3am Daily Mirror 'money shot' - i.e. left boob hanging out of corset top whilst attempting to disembark from a limo at 4am with legs split wider than Nadia Comaneci. Never mind that my boobs wouldn't fall very far in the first place, nor that it would likely be the Bakerloo line at 8:30PM after a leaving do for the chap in accounts...

No, the closest I come, and I 'near' it nearly every night, is firm denial. I boldly launch a blame war on the Threshers 'buy 2 get 3rd free along with your Official Road Map to AA meetings' sale. Ever since Threshers started their deal, I have an economic rationale for stocking up...and for drinking up. They were on sale! A very lethal (albeit, irrelevant) defense in any addict's stockpile.

It also means that I am now a much posher drunk. No more Jacob's Creek Chardonny from Tesco's sale bin at £3.99/bottle (which incidentally always felt a bit Bridget Jones-esqe). Not any more, not when you can buy Petit Chablis at £7/each which after 3 for the price of 2- breaks even.

So yes I drink too much and too well by standards of unit, but thankfully not standards of leud behaviour.

But I blame this on Threshers. Actually I blame this on the English. Why can't you follow the Americans notion of a sale? Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Far more sensible. Who ever goes to Boots needing 3 tubes of toothpaste or 3 jars of anti-wrinkle eye cream?

Unfortunately, the logic doesn't extend to Threshers anymore. I now always go there in need of 3's...

Liz's recommendations (based on personal 'research'):

Under £7/bottle
Haut Poitou Sauvignon at £5.99/bottle
2004 Vineyard X Garnacha, Campo de Borja, £3.49

Over £7/bottle
Kumala Winemaker's Selection Shiraz/Cabernet Sauvignon 2002 Western Cape, South Africa £8.99/bottle