Thursday, October 25, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
In the meantime, a display of raw beauty from arguably the best female voice alive today. In vino veritas indeed Amy.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Universal guy truths
If it weren't for my fuzzy head, I would have been inclined to copy and past the entire freaking thing here and rip it apart, item by item. However, I won't do that to you. (Funny how hangovers are a shortcut to efficiency). Rather, I shall share with you only the top 5 "universal guy truths" that "all women should understand":
22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence. And when you get all pissed off and cry after your team loses, I question your intelligence.
34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience. So have enthusiasm ("OhMiGod! I can't WAIT to have sex with you!!!"), have a sense of humor, ("OhMiGod! Wasn't it soooo funny when you farted during foreplay"), and have patience. (aka Don't put too much pressure on him if he turns out to be crap in bed. Just wait it out.)
8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter. Right. Never talk to a man when he's in the toilet. It's his quiet time and he needs to be alone. In silence...or else he'll get so annoyed he'll love me less. Got it.
30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter. I'm so sorry you've had to look at me in jeans all this time. I probably should have just sucked it up and wore a skirt during that blizzard.
39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.What more motivation do I need to solve my own problems than knowing it turns you on?! Perfect!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
And there is no getting around the evil in one of their headlines today which reads "Enormous Milla shows what NOT to wear when you are pregnant" and features photos of an eight months pregnant Milla Jovovich wearing a flowing gown to the world premiere of her latest film. The nerve. She must have missed the memo that explains how you are supposed to look as slim as possible when you're just days away from giving birth.
For Christ's sake, she's PREGNANT. She is one of Hollywood's most beautiful women, and she's getting hate mail from the voice of Middle England for looking "too big" when she's eight months pregnant. Some world we live in.