Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Waxing nativity

Opening up the Metro this morning to find David Beckham lounging in tight white speedos on a yacht in the Italian Riviera, didn't evoke the expected female response. (Although it did occur to me that he bears a striking resemblance to The David). But more digressive than that, I wondered if Posh and Becks get waxed together. Never a spokesperson for the Menaissance, Beckham looked particularly shorn.

Whilst I am still disheartened by how he played in the World Cup, this morning I gained a new respect for Becks. Waxing, after all, involves gluing your hairs to a piece of fabric, and then ripping the fabric from your skin. If this is your idea of a good time, go and have a smear test. Or try a sliding tackle on astroturf.

Today Becks unknowingly showed us that the feminist struggle has not all been in vain afterall. Becks not only feels our pain, he shares in it. Women, saddled with society's constructs of beauty (if you need proof read Naomi Wolf's, The Beauty Myth) have been voluntarily getting things waxed for years. The beauty industry even constructs euphemisms such as a 'Brazilian' or a 'Hollywood' to describe a total stranger bearing a pot of wax heated to boiling point coming near your private parts. The ultimate dignity freefall.

And why you ask, do women do this? Apparently it is because men see actresses in films (not the Disney variety, mind you) and find it attractive. Hence, the reference to Brazil and Hollywood, the two lands of bodied babes. So society encourages us women to endure pain and discomfort, that we have to pay for, in order to look like strippers. Just when we thought the 'Brazilian' was as authentic as fancy football and caiprinhas.

So you see, by Beckham going for the 'sac, back, and crack wax' (beauty industry jargon) he is making the ultimate statement of relationship parity to Posh. After all, we know she has endured her fair share of nips, pulls, and tucks. But, then again, they have always been a more modern couple than most; I doubt she earns two-thirds less than him to start. No, with Posh and Becks, it's share, and share alike. Like wife, like husband. Now isn't that beautiful?

For the real deal:

Otylia Roberts Beauty Centre at Greenhouse, 142 Wigmore Street, London W1U 3SH (020 7486 5537). Waxist to Posh herself, Otylia's Brazilian hot waxes are legendary - and there are no strips involved. Hot wax is smeared thickly over the area, left for a few seconds and then swiftly ripped off by hand. Ask for Cassie. Costs £49. www.otyliaroberts.co.uk

For a less intimate setting, but more reasonable price list head east on Wigmore Street to Depilex Health Studios. 45-47 Wigmore Street, London, W1U 1PS. (0207 486 0852)

25 Comments:

Anonymous Jen said...

Too funny CS, ouch can feel it from here. Never me mind you. Jen

12:17 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CS, stop reading the Metro and cease riding that tube line in the morning. It provides you with far too much ruminating material.

Becks as a feminist icon? Got to think about that one. His play in the World Cup? Maybe that's why he had to endure the torture of a wax session. Penance, of a sort.

GA

12:57 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

not to bring down the tone of this site but...
has anyone ever tied DIY (or should i say DITYP (do it to your partner)) waxing.
well, suffice to say, the constraints of only either a Brazilian or a Hollywood are lifted. now that is truly sharing!!!
ps trust plays a big part. enjoy

12:59 pm  
Anonymous Gina said...

But that is disgusting. Why would you want your partner to do that? Totally disgusting. Beckham is a model to women I think he is a very good father and husband.

2:45 pm  
Anonymous Anna said...

no way agree disgusting and agree with slicker beckham is cool but think CS was being sarcastic at times GA. great tip on posh's waxer lady but my word 50 quid?

2:53 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

beckham is not a role model to anybody that is me. Wayne Rooney

3:21 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:21 pm  
Anonymous Manny said...

DIY waxing hurts and burns. never try it. no price is too much to pay a third party. i did see the picture in metro today. very nice indeed

3:49 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting argument about waxing and feminism. Never thought about it. Liking your fresh angle. My boyfriend would disagree maybe

4:46 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can see where feminism and eaxing could work together. Like the opposite of feminism and lipstick. Cant believe how much women pay though £49?

4:58 pm  
Anonymous Tim said...

Sarcasm taken on board but very funny.

6:04 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FYI, Otylia is even better than Cassie - quickes, and hardly any pain! And yes, worth every penny. Have you ever been waxed by an amateur charging £25 - ouch! Don't know about being Posh's waxer, but she defo does Gwynie's fanny.

3:13 pm  
Blogger City Slicker said...

Thanks anonymous. But Cassie is cheaper and easier to get an appointment with. And don't under estimate Depilex at under £30 to be just as good. Ask for Anna, very quick and painless.

3:21 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cassie and Otylia are the same price - both have been raised to £49. I use them both, that's how I know.

10:34 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why would you need to use them both if they are so good? sorry £49 should be for a face lift not a wax job.

3:39 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here are some links that I believe will be interested

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

brazilian or hollywood city slicker ???

9:15 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here are some links that I believe will be interested

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