So without further ado, according to the latest report: 25% of you (note my discreet absolution) are having four dates a week, a quarter are in it just for sex and one in five residents of Clapham, Fulham and Wimbledon go on just one date a week, compared to 51% of randy south-east Londoners.
See where my incredulity stems? Who are these people? Even if we count those live-in couple's 'let's have a date night' attempts to rekindle the romance (which incidentally are recipes for expectation disaster akin only to birthdays), I don't know of a single (as in one) friend who has gone on a 'date' this week, this month, maybe even this year. Well, except for Miss X, the one recently signed up to the dating agency, and who fits in multiple dates after work and before 7PM. And as this survey was sponsored by Aloone.com (London's hottest new dating service), the sample bias in favour of daters more than stacks up.
But, that doesn't mean we shouldn't indulge in a bit more fun with what is obviously a well plugged PR attempt to prey on our feelings of romance inadequacy (because the deliberate picture here of the future King and Queen of England trotting out a practice run of wedding attire wasn't bad enough) by a recently launched new dating service. And so for a UK-US love-in (Clinton's proclamation of undying devotion for Brittania last night has us in the mood) over 60% of London men and women would prefer to date another Brit. But, my personal favourite - 33% of surveyed men said they would prefer a (loud often unhinged) American woman, and 30% of women a (loud smelly sneaker wearing) American man.
And if American fetishes and claims of sexual rampancy amongst the swells of London's cesspool of M&S TV dinner eating, EastEnder addicts was hard enough to believe; the most bizarre news was that Holborn -yes, that part of town solely defined by a Central Line stop - is second only to Covent Garden as the best place to meet a new romantic prospect.
Well, whilst we will leave you Aloone to sort our your love life, we can certainly offer better suggestions for locations to take that new romantic prospect this week:
For the Chelsea fan what a better way to marry football with the female than by heading to La Famiglia for a romantic dinner and near Stamford Bridge. With a Saturday kick-off at 3PM you will have plenty of time to make dinner at 8. A wonderful locals family restaurant that I am near to regretting for writing about. Don't miss the homemade boar pasta or tiramisu (best in town).
For the broody female, book up to see the Children of Men at the Electric Cinema in Notting Hill. If the threat of world annihilation via infertility doesn't make him rise to the manly challenge of saving the world (and you) via impregnation, nothing will. The deluxe seat cinema is handy for an after film bite at the ever trendy Electric Brasserie.
For the most exciting gay cultural event to hit London since the EuroPride check out the House of Homosexual Culture's autumn fayre (complete with gay tombola!).