Things are not what they seem

For starters, I am not just using today's title as an excuse to showcase Kate Moss, again. Rather, I am fresh from an evening at the National Theatre where I watched The Alchemist: a brilliant production of Ben Jonson's 17th century play that rings true with much that defines 21st century city life. (Incidentally, Nick Hytner, artistic director of the National and the genius behind £10 Travelex tickets, should be knighted as London's cultural hero.) The play was largely about greed, gullibility and scams. No, remember Jonson was around in the Jacobean Era not our Bush-Blair one. But, therein lies the point.

Ruses choreographed to trick the willing date back to the forbidden apple. Whether it be Kate Moss 'blacked up' on the cover of the Indie yesterday, Penelope Cruz's prosthetic ass in Volver, or a fabricated nude pic of Tiger Wood's WAB (Wives and Birdies, what a term to induce nausea, bring back the WAGs) images are constantly construed to purposefully mislead.

Just look to the exploding, billion pound industry of plastic surgeons nipping and tucking our way to concealment, frontage, and fabrication. Which reminds us what has been really bothering us this week: why is it so dangerous for size 00 girls to project an unrealistic image, but nobody cries out about the size EE ones? Especially considering it was just proven (again) that choosing to have a boob job is highly correlated with crisis of self esteem and confidence often leading to suicide. But you don't see anyone over reacting to the promotion of titillation that is Page 3.

All of which gets us ready for some realistic provocation with the 8th edition of City Slicker's "Week's Action, Weekend Reaction:"

1) Interested in transmutation, gullibility and con artists but the hype surrounding The Alchemist means it is sold out for the weekend? React by heading to The Tricycle Theatre for Fabulation: a funny, enjoyable play about the rise and fall of a successful female publicist living in Brooklyn. The backbone of the story being about a woman, Undine, who must, like Voltaire's Candide, learn to tend her garden - in this case the garden of the humanity she neglected in her climb up the ladder of African-American Yuppiedom. Last year the buzz made it a hit before it opened. Until 21 Oct. £7.50-£18/ticket.

2) Always been meaning to see stand-up comedian and TV film star, Omid Djalili, or just seen his face plastered on Tube adverts? React by heckling him in a rare circuit appearance at the intimate Hampstead Comedy Club (which is actually in Primrose Hill) this Saturday night where he will be presenting a set of old and new material, along with music and comedy from Earl Okin and Swedish stand-up comic Henrik Elmer. Book after 2PM on Saturday by calling 020 7633 9539. £8.50/ticket. Reservations a must.

3) Half interested in the London Design Festival, but will never make it to Little Australia (formerly known as Earl's Court)? React by stumbling through Spitalfields Market en route to the nearby Geffrye Museum for Ceramics in the City. An annual weekend long showcase of work by 50 ceramicists (yes, that is a word) that is as much an exhibition as a sale. C'mon, you know that barren bookcase shelf could use a little Shoreditch inspired funk.