Her Madgesty

Don't worry I am not going to immerse our refined sensibilities in any lengthy discussion about the comeback of The Bob. If I were to do that I would have to make reference to Madame Beckham and how she set the trend months back. Which is dangerous, for from there we will only digress to trollop gossip from which we must at all times refrain. Well, except on this Thursday in September, when London's temperature is freakishly hotter than Mallorca and is making us feel guilty for dismissing The Inconvenient Truth.

And in honour of Banksy's recent stunt, let's not completely dismiss the elephant in this blogroom. Madonna, you are no immaterial girl. We are not going to ask for the inspiration behind your 48-and-proud haircut in case our suspicions hold true. Rather, we will just say (as we would to any friend post traumatic hair makeover) "it is very youthful." Although this time when our opinion counts for nothing, we actually mean it. Bloody typical (as any self respecting Anglophile would say).

And speaking of being proud, having hair issues and being iconic to the gay community; did anyone catch Rupert Everett's confessional in the Daily Torygraph? Don't worry if not, the most memorable bit was his chat about being on alopecia (baldness) medication, and that the result is, as he confides: "I don't have any sperm left. If I stop taking the pills, all my hair will fall out, but I would rather have hair than sperm." Does that equate to pro-choice for men?

Rupert is en vogue this week for plugging his autobiography, "Red Carpet and Other Banana Skins," in which he makes some provocative comments about some of Hollywood's biggest stars. This includes the news that "Julia Roberts is as skittish as a racehorse, and that his great friend Sharon Stone is an extraordinary character, extremely intelligent, totally controlling, really fun but... unhinged. And that's kind of fabulous." Men, take note, that is how to compliment us whilst also outing our femme fatale quirks, but without using the ubiquitous "you're bonkers." It somehow confers a wild temptress over a bewitched covenress. More Madonna than Donatella. Get the drift?

But now look what we have done? We have spent all our precious time talking about them. What about us?

Let me point us in the direction of today's inside shopping tip (straight from a size zero source on-site at London Fashion Week):
Next (leave your label snobbery with brand bonfire Boorman) have struck it iron hot with the dress that hits all the now buttons: leopard print, shirt dress, knee length, and at £34.99 is yuffer affordable. Recently spotted on Kate (Middleton, sorry), Jade Jagger, and someone from Holby City whose name I instantly forgot. Available to order on-line (men, that tip is for you. It may just help you finally hit that illustrious button).