Monday, February 05, 2007


I was caught off guard yesterday when pinned for an opinion on Lily Allen after her weekend appearance on Saturday Night Live and new hit single. As if there was an option other than punctured apathy for London's MySpace mistress with a peculiar quality of lyricism (“It makes me SMILE / I feel bad for a WHILE").

I know that every year music critics start stroking it over a female musician to generate industry buzz. In 2006 it was Lily Allen and 2007 looks to be the same. Except this year the object of their desire is going to shift units, and ends with a song called “Alfie” that makes you lose faith in this country, a horrific “supply teacher trying to act cool to his third period class” piece of “yeah, weed makes you TIRED, innit blood” that destroys any hope that Allen could have been something:


But maybe I am still prejudiced from reading her interview in Observer Music Monthly when she discussed her “hard” childhood. What form did her distressing youth take? Apparently, sometimes her parents embarrassed her at dinner parties, and every now and then she got told off for handing her homework in late. Jesus wept.

And none of this would be remotely relevant if it wasn't for the fact that her personality shines through so blindingly in her music. Lily prides herself on it, and on how "real" she is. On her MySpace page, in between slagging off minimum wage service staff in restaurants for not sufficiently fawning over her; she’s off on her bike, pausing to “laugh” at an OAP getting mugged outside Tesco.

But anyway, who over age 16 is lily-livered enough to need their music classified as "real?" Lily Allen is a coddled kid who ain't lived it—she witnessed it from her folks pad. Scribbled in her notepad and created her life. That's how the song goes, right?


Anonymous Naz said...

You rock CS!
Cant stand her.
You know the lyrics:

"When you first left me
I was wanting more
But you were fucking that girl next door
What did you do that for?”

As a female, you would think that I would sympathise with Ms Allen’s plight here. But my sympathies are squarely with this unnamed other of indiscriminate sex. Indeed Ms Allen’s question seems thoroughly misplaced. What did he do that for indeed?

Maybe they did it because they don’t like you Lily.

Maybe your faux Cockernee accent and attitood rubbed them up the wrong way.


5:20 pm  
Anonymous honkman said...

Or maybe Lily your appropriation of the “female Mike Skinner” tag narked your significant other as they believed that not only does the world not need a female Mike Skinner but having a male one was already going too far.

5:21 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


5:21 pm  
Anonymous Claire said...

Lily Allen is the biggest pile of pants ever!! seriously I really cant believe that she is being hailed as cool, not just by the usual clueless pop monkeys but by those that should know much better!!!

I Personally think that she is really the brain child of some fat,old,out of touch music exec who knows how to score a quick buck…..

“I know lets commercialized cross over, chav, street music in a fluffy almost celebrity package,throw in a few references to London, retro clothes (which are soooo cool)….and bang you got yourself a genuine artist”!!!

5:23 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well…what else accounts for such rubbish! I’m stating the obvious
when I say she has zero singing ability. She has no rapping or rhyming skills, she seems to get bored half way through writing a song so just resorts to repeating the same lines over and over and……..

5:26 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As an American I am HORRIFIED. Thank god I missed the episode. She is tragic!

5:45 pm  
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5:50 pm  
Anonymous hels said...

Awww, I really like this video.

The puppet chap is so cute and the song is addictive. Bet you watched it more than once?

5:52 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those puppets are creepy!

6:07 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She is awesome in my opinion!

6:09 pm  
Anonymous Kendra said...

People keep saying that she's a grime artist like Lady Sovereign. They sound nothing alike to me but whatever. How is it that Lily Allen is going to be a musical guest on Saturday Night Live? I would have thought that they would invite Sov over Lily Allen for sure!

6:30 pm  
Blogger Ms Melancholy said...

Ooh, ouch! But agree with absolutely everything you say.

7:43 pm  
Blogger Steve On Broadway (SOB) said...

CS - Fortunately, SNL audiences had a chance to see a better British export last fall when Corrine Bailey Rae performed. Now that is charismatic talent!

9:55 pm  
Blogger Glamourpuss said...

At last, some sense on the matter. Her father is unbearable and his offspring is equally insufferable.


10:26 pm  
Blogger Jane said...

God, that video's so embarrassing - can't believe America saw it. After the first few seconds I had to wonder if it was a joke. Awful awful awful.

Great blog though - many thanks,


3:37 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the pair of you are a waste of time. Why should a middle aged old broad be so concerned about a minor pop celeb and be made so apaplectic?

4:00 pm  
Blogger Habibi said...

I think you are taking it too serious. Besides, what is important of her is her music, isn't it? I like her music, I don't know anything about her (just a bit, but I don't really care).
I have a friend who would always critizice an Spanish writer I like based on her TV appearences. I knew that writer was an stupid cow, but I still liked her books.
The same with Lily, I think the album is great fun and this is what I expect of her. I'm not hoping she'll win the peace nobel prize, or anything. I am just hoping her future albums will be as much fun as this one is.

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