Monday, April 23, 2007

A Maternal Girl?

Madonna is famous and infamous for her sinful buffet of personas. She's been a geisha, a virgin, and a dominatrix, but she's always been an original. Which is what's so troubling about her latest reinvention. Why is she trying to be Angelina Jolie?

Madonna's current, hugely publicized trip to Malawi — the native country of her adopted son, David — is torn from the pages of The Canonization of Angelina. Bravely, Madge has scrubbed the makeup from her face (see Jolie, Angelina, Vanity-Free Goodwill Missions Of), visited orphanages (see: Jolie, Angelina, Demonstrations of Compassion for Orphaned Children By), and taken David to see his father (see Jolie, Angelina, Frequent Trips to Cambodia to Help Maddox Understand His Heritage Mandated By). But in striving to remind us she's really just a Maternal Girl at heart, Madonna's treading territory that feels très Jolie — and that "been-there, done-that" feeling is unusual when we're talking about a woman who put herself on a crucifix every night of her last tour.

But subtlety was never Madonna's strength. Though that's great when you're prancing around a stage in a leotard and top hat, the blatant approach doesn't work when you're peddling a softer, gentler side. And, really, she shouldn't be begging for people's regard like this in the first place. She's freaking Madonna. She's not supposed to be making plays for public affection, and she's certainly not supposed to be walking a trail someone else forged first. The Madonna of yore would want to slap her silly. And that we'd certainly tune in for.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Madonna is 48 for pete's sake. She needs to hand over the envelope now and bow out while she still has some dignity left in her.

3:29 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah it's like they are comepting to save the world or something

3:32 pm  
Anonymous Ella said...

Arent you all so cruel? She is doing good and not evil!

3:34 pm  
Anonymous hb13 said...

Guy Ritchie needs to bitch slap that woman before she gets ahead of herself.

3:35 pm  
Anonymous Heartybowl said...

Anything is better than that faux English accent phase she went through. Don't you agree?

3:37 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good one CS

She sure does need a slapping!

3:46 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Put Madge (and us) out of misery and get her to retire soon please.

4:40 pm  
Anonymous hels said...

The Queen of pop has more image changes than hot dinners.

5:19 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just what is she doing all of this for? Lourdes is a beautiful gorl isnt she?

5:20 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Madonna needs to get her head examined. It is all part of that crazy religion she adopted. Beware!

6:18 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like that she's constantly reinvented herself, and there's no reason why she should retire to Eastbourne and knit her days away just yet.

On the other hand, if reports are to be believed, she's peddling her nonsense religion (Kabbalah as she practises it and Scientology are a load of balls) to gullible young children, who have enough to deal with. Just goes to show she ain't giving summat for nowt. That's what I object to.

9:32 pm  
Anonymous Planethalder said...

I don't care why Madonna does what she does because it's all been entertaining (irritating or not) down the years.

8:20 am  
Blogger That's so pants said...

Josephine Baker anyone?

1:13 pm  

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