Monday, April 16, 2007

The Royal Split

It's all over the news - Kate and Wills have split. I haven't been this shocked since Brad and Jen. What went wrong? They looked so good on the Woolworth commemorative mugs. She invested five years of her life into the relationship. Not to mention all of time we wasted speculating. And for what? Didn't we deserve a happy ending?

Typically Clarence House remains tight lipped. We'll never know the true reason and many trees will fall in speculating. Did William feel up one too many drunken blondes? Did she show too much spunk with the media? What, if anything, did Camilla have to do with this? The questions and possibilities for spin are endless.

Our first instinct might be to feel sorry for her. After all, now that she no longer has to save the monarchy, she has time to think about her future. But don't feel so bad, she has several options before she becomes a royal footnote:

She can write her autobiography. Nothing eases the pain like cashing in.

She can become a motivational speaker, holding seminars on 'How not to become a princess'.

She can do tearful appearances on Oprah. And make the cover of Hello magazine looking despondent.

She can appear on reality shows eating questionable animal parts with Paul Burrell.

She can become a contestant on Dancing With the Stars.

If she's feeling charitable, she could go out with Kev Fed.

She can become BFF with Paris Hilton.

And most importantly:

She can get on with her life.

17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

he he

very funny CS!

6:30 pm  
Anonymous catandmouse said...

Her Britney and Paris I can see it now!

6:35 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She can write children's books liek Fergie.

6:38 pm  
Anonymous Claire said...

Get on with her life? I believe she needs to find one first.

6:47 pm  
Anonymous fashionistawhore said...

The real truth is that they are too young to get married. Men and princes will always need to make their mistakes and continue making them. They always let the good ones go in favour of the potential taste of freedom or something better. His loss.

6:49 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought Fergie modelled for Wedgewood?

6:50 pm  
Anonymous max said...

The Evening Standard suggests her mother was too pushy. That's a bit unfair, isn't it?

9:45 pm  
Anonymous Tanya said...

Actually Max -- didn't the press say her mother was common because she chewed gum in public? I think you will find that was the spin...

9:50 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is too young to settle down. Give the poor chap a break...

8:08 am  
Anonymous honkman said...

This is all a tie up. They will get back together. I want my mug to be worth something damn it!

9:05 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She could also get a personality

9:40 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

she is too plain looking

9:40 am  
Anonymous hb13 said...

BOOKIES in the UK were taking bets today on who Prince William will marry following his reported split from girlfriend Kate Middleton, with Kylie Minogue and Britney Spears among the front runners. Bookmakers William Hill were offering odds of 6-1

9:55 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

she is pants

9:57 am  
Anonymous ohplease said...

Kate Middleton Deserves Better.

...While the sane and educated blame Prince William's breast groping hands caught in the act ,in the press. He grows into his Dad more and more each day.

10:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like a bunch of made-up nonsense to me. Most of the stuff in British papers about the Royals seems made-up. I doubt any human being with half-a-brain would ask the Queen where the loo is.

10:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now she can stop wearing those ridiculous hats.

10:56 am  

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