Message in a bottle

Oh, Becks, no. Just when I decided to cut you and the stick insect some slack and wish you well in La-La land, you have to go and reinvent yourself again but this time as Sting. Or is it platinum Brad post Jennifer break-up? If you really want to try something different, grow out a beard braid, slap some beads onto it, and have a nervous breakdown.

But enough of that. This is starting to read like Metro which is the new unspeakable. Rather, it is Friday and frivolity is in order which is our cue for the 32nd edition of City Slicker's "Week's Action, Weekend Reaction":

1) Are you pleased to hear that Sloane Square is being saved? React by paying your dues en route to check out the hottest show in town: 'That Face', a hit debut from a 20 year-old playwright. Yes, 20 and no I promise it's not Lily Allen. Book now, limited availability. Blinding reviews here. Tickets £15. Royal Court Theatre. Sloane Square, SW1. 0207 565 5000. Until 17 May.

2) Has the Kate and Wills split left you worried the British Monarchy will forever be determined by breeding? React by taking this idea one step backward with a controversial performance of the re-enactment of Prince William's conception - literally. It should put those ill-fated Woolworth collector items into perspective. Guy Hilton Gallery, 35 Fournier Street, E1. 0795859 5033. Sat. 5PM. RSVP essential. Free.

3) Are April's record temperatures making you frisky for the wild outdoors? React by catching the last weekend of the always inspiring Wildlife Photographer of the Year annual exhibition. National History Museum. SW7. Sat-Sun 10AM-5:50PM. £6.