Priceless!

They are some things in life that neither money nor Mastercard can buy: Bush posing as O.J. Simpson being one of them. He never ceases to make me laugh when he is not making me wail. As if socks and sandals wasn't the ugliest look ever invented, Dubya has to top the look with Crocs. But what has he ever understood about anything?

If there is one thing that seems interminable beyond this summer's monsoon it's waiting for George Bush to get his comeuppance. Living through the dying days of his presidency is starting to seem like some horror film in which the hero is the country, and the president is this disturbing, pig-headed, oblivious villain who makes things worse and worse and worse. Poor Gordo literally camped up with him this weekend.

On that note let's get thinking about better ways to spend our time with the 36th edition of City Slicker's "Week's Action, Weekend Reaction":

1) Has today's news about Asbos made you desperate to misbehave? React by heading to The Queef of Terence, a new play with no manners, from the comedy sirens behind the Bird Flu Diaries. Etcetera Theatre, 265 Camden High St. Sunday 7:30PM. 020 7482 4857.

2) Does the thought of a traditional village fete summon up images of Springfield Retirement Castle? React by checking out the V&A's hipster version manned by 30 designers and creatives (provided they find their way west from Hackney). The V&A, Cromwell Road, Fri 6.30-10pm, Sat 1-5pm, £3.

3) Have you have always fancied yourself a fan of Keats' cockney poetry but never made it to his erstwhile home in Hampstead? React by heading there this weekend before it closes for renovation and in time for a one-hour play, "Keats in Hampstead" about the old Romantic. Keats House, 10 Keats Grove, NW3 020 7435 2062. 3PM Sat + Sun. £3.